McDonnell Douglas Military Aircraft Satisfaction Survey

Thanks to Brian Mullan (my Dad!)

The message below was actually posted very briefly on the McDonnell Douglas website by an employee there who obviously has a sense of humour. The company, of course, does not - and made the web department take it down immediately. (In case you don't know: McDonnell Douglas is one of the world's chief suppliers of military aircraft).

Please note : This survey does 'work' so why not fill it in ? If I get any really good responses I'll post them too!

Thank you for purchasing a McDonnell Douglas military aircraft. In order to protect your new investment, please take a few moments to fill out the warranty registration card below. Answering the survey questions is not required, but the information will help us to develop new products that best meet your needs and desires.

  1. Mr Mrs Ms Miss Lieutenant
    General Comrade Classified Other  
    Your full name:
    Your email address:
    (e.g.: you@aol.com)
    Enter codename:
    Enter password:
    Latitude-Longditude-Altitude:

  2. Which model aircraft did you purchase
    F-14 Tomcat
    F-15 Eagle
    F-16 Falcon
    F-117A Stealth
    Classified

  3. Date of purchase: (dd/mm/yy)


  4. Serial number:


  5. Please check where this product was purchased
    Received as gift / aid package
    Catalogue showroom
    Independent arms broker
    Mail order
    Discount store
    Government surplus
    Classified

  6. Please check how you became aware of the McDonnell Douglas product you have just purchased:
    Heard loud noise, looked up
    Store display
    Espionage
    Recommended by friend / relative / ally
    Political lobbying by manufacturer
    Was attacked by one

  7. Please check the three (3) factors that most influenced your decision to purchase this McDonnell Douglas product:
    Style/appearance
    Speed/manouverability
    Price/value
    Comfort/convenience
    Kickback / bribe
    Recommended by salesperson
    McDonnell Douglas reputation
    Advanced Weapons Systems
    Backroom politics
    Negative experience opposing one in combat

  8. Please check the location(s) where this product will be used:
    North America
    Central / South America
    Aircraft carrier
    Europe
    Middle East
    Africa
    Asia / Far East
    Misc. Third World countries
    Classified

  9. Please check the products that you currently own or intend to purchase in the near future:
    Color TV
    VCR
    ICBM
    Killer Satellite
    CD Player
    Air-to-Air Missiles
    Space Shuttle
    Home Computer
    Nuclear Weapon

  10. How would you describe yourself or your organization? (Check all that apply):
    Communist / Socialist
    Terrorist
    Crazed
    Neutral
    Democratic
    Dictatorship
    Corrupt
    Primitive / Tribal

  11. How did you pay for your McDonnell Douglas product ?
    Deficit spending
    Cash
    Suitcases of cocaine
    Oil revenues
    Personal cheque
    Credit card
    Ransom money
    Travellers cheque

  12. Your occupation:
    Homemaker
    Sales / marketing
    Revolutionary
    Clerical
    Mercenary
    Tyrant
    Middle management
    Eccentric billionaire
    Defense Minister / General
    Retired
    Student

  13. To help us understand our customers' lifestyles, please indicate the interests and activities in which you and your spouse enjoy participating on a regular basis:
    Golf
    Boating / sailing
    Sabotage
    Running / jogging
    Propaganda / disinformation
    Destabilization / overthrow
    Default on loans
    Gardening
    Crafts
    Black market / smuggling
    Collectibles / collections
    Watching sports on TV
    Wines
    Interrogation / torture
    Household pets
    Crushing rebelllions
    Espionage / reconnaissance
    Fashion clothing
    Border disputes
    Mutually Assured Destruction

Thank you for taking the time to fill out this questionnaire. Your answers will be used in market studies that will help McDonnell to enable you to receive mailings and special offers from other companies, governments, extremist groups, and mysterious consortia.

Comments or suggestions about our fighter planes? Please write to:

McDONNELL DOUGLAS CORPORATION
Marketing Department
Military Aerospace Division
P.O. Box 800
St. Louis
MO
.  
FREE feedback form powered by FreeForm
 		FreeForm